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Thread: i'm not alone

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Cheshire
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    I got really annoyed with my wife earlier today because on 3 occasions she referred to me as h.......ck. I personally hate this word. I told her to never ever refer to me that way again. She said why should she lie, i need to know what i am, do I expect her to pretend that I'm something I'm not. Just wondered how anyone else deals with. She talks as if this is my fault and how I should be doing something to make it go away.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    Just wanted to echo what everyone is saying. You're not alone. We each have similar stories. My back was at 90 degrees and I had lost 3 inches in height. It's been almost 4 months since surgery, started working a month ago. You look better than where I started. I did it for myself. My wife was clear she didn't care, the curve was just part of me.

    Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do. But you're not alone. Kyphosis is rare but you found a whole community here that understands.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Sheffield, UK
    Posts
    16,238

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    Sorry if this offends, but personally I think your wife is way out of order for treating you this way, it's effectively psychological bullying when she should actually be supporting you
    Me, a Mod? Nah ... I'll always be a rocker

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    121

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    I would not have surgery to win someone else's approval.

    Although surgery has come a long way, it carries with it significant risks. You have to ask yourself how you'd feel 3 or 4 years down the road if you find that you're suffering one of the possible risks of surgery (like increased pain, or a new curve above the fusion) and you and your wife are not together. I suspect you would feel as if you're suffering for nothing.

    If *you* want surgery - if you're in significant pain, for example - then by all means find out more about it. But don't put yourself at risk to win approval. I've found that people who are disapproving will always find something new to complain about.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Cheshire
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    I agree with you Gilly but she doesn't see it that way. My parents still refuse to acknowledge there is anything wrong with my spine, they just tell me to stop slouching. Standing up straight helps but isn't a cure. My wife unfortunately doesn't have a filter when she speaks. I always felt my ex-wife stayed with me for so long out of pity and I fear the same may happen again. I just wish she could see past it.

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    Hi Chris,
    I had my surgery done in August of last year. So i'm slightly past 6 months post op and it was the best decision of my life. I had an 80 degree curve if i can remember correctly down to 55. Still not perfect but i look normal now at least.

    My job was fine with it. I only had to take 6 weeks off.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Cheshire
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: i'm not alone

    Hi Mike
    Your after photo looks great. I finally went to see my gp today and i'm being referred to a specialist in Liverpool. My GP said that attitudes in england to surgery have changed and the number of surgeries being performed has dropped massively as they found patients were not getting the results they wanted and were sometimes making things worse. How did you build up so much muscle in your back? If I try and lift weights I just get severe back pain and have to stop. Push ups is about all I can manage.

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