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Thread: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

  1. #1
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    Angry First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    This afternoon is the first time for Oliver has returned back to school for three months. He was feeling very low about his body shape. He got dressed this afternoon and looked at himself in the mirror, walked in to his bedroom and ripped up his school photo crying that everyone was going to laugh at him and yes it was like having my heart ripped out yet again. Told him how amazing he was, how good looking he was and that everything would be okay. Walked in to school and one of the girls shouted out 'oh look its Oliver, I thought he was dead!' and yes for a very split second I wanted to react but quickly remembered that I was a grown up! so I have left him at school for the afternoon whilst I pace up and down the landing. I know that children will be children, I know someone will be mean about this body shape, this is life but it does seem a little unfair after all they have been through! I am sure that it will all be positive and that he will fit right back in after a few weeks. We have to let them go, but it is really hard!
    Mummy to Oliver aged 10. Failed spinal fusion at Standmore 09 second surgery on 15th Dec 10 at GOS with Mr. Tucker.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Oh how nasty I'm so sorry you're both having to go through this, I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must all be! I'm glad you have us though because we'll try and help as much as we can, even though it might not be practical help, I know I find this place to be a life saver quite often! More 's Lyssie xxx
    "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary..." - Steve Jobs

  3. #3
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Oh it's a wonder I didn't end up in prison when my kids were at school - some of the things I wanted to do to some of the kids is unrepeatable Well done for letting go, I hope things didn't turn out to be as bad as he feared
    Me, a Mod? Nah ... I'll always be a rocker

  4. #4
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a grown up!

    Well first afternoon over, two of the boys laughed at him though Oliver said first, 'dont do anything but...' I then threw my arms in the air and said 'well you should have said.........' and I caught Oliver's expression as he was watching me coming out with all these horriable remarks and I then said, 'son you are better than this, just look at them, shake your head and walk away' I remember being ten and there was always a child that was fat, tall, short wore glasses whatever the reason another child didnt think that they were not perfect and I guess this is life, we judge people by how they look and it is unfair and wrong...and I have to say that some adults are just as bad as children! We have five months left of junior school and I hope that by he time he starts senior school the surgery and physio would have improved his body shape and he will feel he can fit in. Life is tough but there is always someone in a worse situation.
    Mummy to Oliver aged 10. Failed spinal fusion at Standmore 09 second surgery on 15th Dec 10 at GOS with Mr. Tucker.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Aww I'm sorry. I hope things get better for Oliver soon. Kids can be so nasty.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a grown up!

    hope today is a good one for Oliver and you DeborahBen - stay positive. He could have done without those 2 boys laughing at him as that is what he was afraid of but he got through that horrible first day back and i'm sure it will get better each day for him xxx
    Hi i'm Dan's Mum - Dan is 16 years old and was diagnosed with neuromuscular scoliosis (caused by a large benign spinal cord tumour 'intramedullary pilocytic astrocytoma' that was partially removed at Great Ormond St in 2001 when he was 6). Has worn brace since then. Has a thoracic curve that in December 2010 was 67degrees. Had surgery 24th March 2011 to stabilise curve with small correction

  7. #7
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Poor Oliver...and poor you! Its only natural you want to protect him. Some kids really are vile, unfortunately anyone who stands out will always be a 'target' for them. I hope he has good friends who can stick by him and make him realise that the opinions of these bullies are worth nothing...

    Hugs to you both xo

  8. #8
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    It makes me so sad to read what your son has gone through - I have a child who is almost 10 and it does brake your heart when they come home and someone has upset them. Well done for not re-acting to the silly comment - sometimes it's hard to do the right thing and not re-act.

    I really do wish your son all the best.
    Good Luck
    Sheila

  9. #9
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Poor Oliver, some kids are simply nasty. It must be horrible for you to see him getting hurt. Can the school do something about it? Jessie's school asks children to report any bullying.
    Stana x

  10. #10
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Thanks everyone. I have mentioned something to his teacher but he is in year 6 and a boy and it is uncool to have the teacher involved but I have asked her to keep an eye. Unfortunatly he is not allowed out at playtime incase he is knocked and damage the metal work, still only 10 weeks post op so he is watching everyone playing from the libary window. A friend is meant to stay with him but they only stayed for 15 minutes and got board and left him! It is just the next stage of recovery....trying to be normal again! I have arranged for friends to come home and called a couple of nice mums letting them know that Oliver needs good friends. It is heart breaking but I am sure that everyone will settle down in a few weeks. He has gain quite a bit of weight from being so inactive but still cant exercise yet but I am sure things will improve over the summer. If you think Im struggling my husband wanted to go to the boys house at 10.30 last night!!!
    Mummy to Oliver aged 10. Failed spinal fusion at Standmore 09 second surgery on 15th Dec 10 at GOS with Mr. Tucker.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    I don't blame your husband, either! When I was bullied at school, my brother was waiting outside the train station to give them a piece of his mind and pretty much told them what they should do! I wasn't expecting my brother to be there just so you know! Hopefully Oliver can gain a bit more normality bit by bit, it'll take time but hopefully slowly it'll happen Take care xx
    "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary..." - Steve Jobs

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    London, UK
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    2,773

    Default Re: First day back to school - finding it hard to be a gown up!

    Other children can be incredibly cruel and it's so hard not to rise to it. I hope things improve for him xx
    Mum to Erin, 10, diagnosed with 62 degree curve in May 04, aged 21 months. Serial casting '04-'07. Growth rods inserted June '08 under Mr Tucker at RNOH, Stanmore, UK. Surgery October '11 to replace a broken rod.

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