View Full Version : I need major support
12th December 2004, 08:28 PM
Remember when I told you all my doctors thought I was anorexic and starving myself, etc... I didnt think I was doing al those things and I didnt think I was making myself throw up but my mom said its mind over matter and she said shes been noticing me picking at my food again and the last two nights I have thrown up and now she doesnt believe me anymroe and I overread an e-mail ( i know ithats bad but I wanted to knwo hwo she felt) she said if I start starving myself again shes going to admit me into a hospital herself. You guys I am really scared I dont have any control over this I try so hard but it just doesnt work and I dont knwo what to do and now with NO support from my mom its going to be even harder I dont know how my dad feels but he always seems to be on my side even when my mom isnt. Anyways thanks
12th December 2004, 08:37 PM
Aww hunnie big big hugs! :squeeze: ! Is there anyway you can prove that your not starving yourself? I'm here for you whenever you need talk! Feel better Kayla!
12th December 2004, 08:42 PM
:squeeze: Hugs Kayla, Im sorry that your mum doesnt believe you! Im really not sure what to say, but I hope that it gets sorted out, and you know that we will be here for you no matter what!
12th December 2004, 09:19 PM
Awww Kayla sweetie!! :hug: Try to relax a bit.....even if your mom had you admitted to a hospital, the doctors would be able to tell really quickly that you're not anorexic or bulimic. Your mom's on your side really, it's just that it probably doesnt seem that way right now....but it's better to have a mom who cares too much than too little eh? :-) We're all here for you anyway, and there's always one or two of us on MSN, so anytime you need a chat just come and find us :D
12th December 2004, 09:21 PM
We're here for you 100%.I can understand how scared and upset you must be feeling right now.Your mother must be going through a very difficult time too.She's probably worrying unnecessarily, but it's just the way parents are.You're her world and it's not easy for her to see you sick.You need to tell her that you're trying hard and that you're not doing this deliberately.If you're gaining weight or your weight is constant that should reassure her.She's probably just overreacting to one incident. Hang in there and it'll pass.Meanwhile any time you need a chat don't feel shy about posting or grabbing us on Msn.
12th December 2004, 09:57 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know your complete story, but I just wanted to let you know you can always add me on msn if you need a talk. I kinda know what it's like when your mom doesn't support you (delicacy is something that's NOT in my moms dictionary..). But that doesn't mean they don't care about you.
It seems terrible that your mom would admit you to a clinic, but that's only because she really cares about you. Eating disorders are a nasty thing, and if there's really a problem it's best that they're being caught as soon as possible. I'm not saying you have a problem though. Lot's of people don't eat much (like my sis) without being anorexic.
Big hugs for you!!!
12th December 2004, 10:39 PM
The doctors won't believe me either they admitted me once before when I got the NG tube they monitored me and everything and to this day when I go in for an appt they say you dont eat why because you dont want ot? its just bleh
12th December 2004, 10:42 PM
Do you still have the NG tube kayla?I remember you were due to have it changed for a better fitting one.
13th December 2004, 02:15 AM
No The NG tube has been gone for a while I have the G tube now
13th December 2004, 09:31 AM
Hi Kayla I'm so sorry to hear you're having so much stress about your weight.Are you naturally just thin?I had a problem like this when I was a teenager and Ryan takes after me pretty much in build,tall and skinny..You really would think I starve him to look at him but I know he eats properly and healthily :???: I was the same at his age always running around never still for more than 5 minutes and I was like it til I had the boys,I'm still not big now I just have a few 'wobbly bits' LOL..Some people are just made that way but Mums are built to worry too!!! I can see it from both sides as a parent and as a kid who had the same problem convincing my mum I was eating and not starving myself..Are you sick a lot? :squeeze:
13th December 2004, 01:22 PM
Oh hun, that is just awful! :squeeze:
13th December 2004, 03:15 PM
sorry to be dumb but yeah whats an NG or G tube?
13th December 2004, 03:43 PM
I'm sorry you have to go through this Kayla. I wish your mum would support you more because i think you need all the encouragement from her you can get. Can you speak to your dad and tell him why you're worried? If he's a softie like me I'm sure he'll listen. (Well I'm a softie when it comes to you and a tryant to everybody else of course.)
13th December 2004, 09:22 PM
Wow, I'm sorry you're having a such hard time right now. :squeeze: :squeeze: :squeeze:
13th December 2004, 09:58 PM
Aw Kayla that sucks. I'm really skinny too and I once had a teacher who really did think I was anorexic. I mean I don't eat a lot but I don't starve myself either. Anyway. My mom sorted her out. But with your mom, I'm sure she's just worried about you. Even if she did check you into a hospital, they would be able to tell you aren't anorexic. Are you feeling sick and not like eating ?Sometimes I don't eat very much when I'm under a lot of stress because anytime I do, my stomach gets upset. Once I talked to a counsellor about it and he said that I should eat smaller amounts every 2 or 3 hours, so my stomach always has something in it. This actually works quite well... and when my stomach is really upset I make sure I at least drink water or juice. If you need to talk, you can always see if I'm on MSN... I think I'm an hour ahead of you (you live in California, right? I'm in Alberta (north of Montana). *hugs*
13th December 2004, 09:58 PM
Awww Kayla, I'm sorry to hear that! I can sort of see where you are coming from. I've had my own set of similar issues in the past and so if you would like to talk I'm always here to talk. I don't know your whole situation but I think you should maybe talk to your mom and let her know what you are really feeling and thinking. She's just worried about you and she doesn't want to see you hurt anymore. Hopefully this can be solved without having you go to the doctor but even if you do go, it is only to help. I know it's hard, I've been there (well certainly your circumstances might be a little different) but just stick in there and keep trying your hardest. :squeeze: :squeeze:
13th December 2004, 10:29 PM
I've been accused of being anorexic too a year ago by my grandmother!! Which is my mom's mother in law..and my mom straightened her out as well. And believe it or not I eat sooooo much! I do eat alot its just that I have a dangerously high metabilism and i'm constantly moving and on the go.
14th December 2004, 12:53 AM
well, I just had written a long response that I accidently deleted. So I'll just give you the jist of it.
I can't believe your mom's doing this. But, like everyone else said, I'm sure she just wants to make sure you're healthy. She loves you and wants to make sure you are okay. And, also like everyone else said, if you are admitted to the hospital, they should be able to tell that you aren't anorexic.
14th December 2004, 01:00 AM
Yeah, she does want to make sure she's OK, but she hasn't got any right to disbelieve you and threaten to treat something that isn't there. I should think she'll come round and realise before not too long, and as everyone else has said, if the worst comes to the worst and they have you assessed, they won't find anything.
We're very much on your side too :squeeze:
14th December 2004, 12:49 PM
Kayla, I'm going to repeat what everybody else has already said... even if your mother thinks the worst, shereally cares about you and she is trying to act in your best interest. If things really do get bad and she has you admitted again, they'll figure out pretty quickly that you're not starving yourself. And maybe they'll figure out what's stopping you from eating much.
I know in my case, because my torso is so short there's a lot of pressure on my stomach, so it can't expand enough to allow me to eat much in one sitting. So I try to eat frequent small meals throughout the day to take in the calories I need. I agree with Joy that you should try altering your eating pattern to accomodate your lower appetite and still maintain/gain weight. You might also ask your doctor about high-density foods so you don't have to consume as much to get the same amount of calories. If you get any suggestions, feel free to pass them along to me. I'm always looking for tips on how to gain weight.
Try not to be hurt by your mother's comments. She really does mean well, and you know the truth. :squeeze:
14th December 2004, 06:36 PM
This reminds me of a short period after my surgery when I just wasn't hungry when I had to sit up and eat my meal. It already started in the hospital, I would be hungry but once I sat up to have dinner, I ate two bites and felt full. I could only eat much when I was lying down (but still not the amount of food I'd eat before surgery). Maybe it has something to do with it?
And doesn't your stomach shrink when you don't eat much for a longer time? Might be a cause too, and it'd mean it's not in your head, if you get what I mean.
14th December 2004, 07:42 PM
Yes i went through that too and I still kind of am! But like I would get very very hungry in the hospital and after like 4 bites not even i'd feel full. And when I came home from after being in the hospital my mom bought pizza and I usually eat like 3 pieces or more hehe but I could barely finish one.
14th December 2004, 09:45 PM
In intensive care, the evening after the first surgery, I managed to have about half a little chocolate fudge cake. I was able to eat little bits of food but had no appetite.
When I came off fluids, I felt very, very sick but it never occurred to me it was because I was HUNGRY. Then I realised that it was a good idea to EAT to make the nausea go, not FAST to make the nausea go. Ward milkshakes were a real godsend.
As the drugs slowly clogged me up more and more, my appetite reached zero, when I'd have one solitary bite of one slice of toast in the morning and nothing for the rest of the day. Result I lose 10lb (4kg) in hospital.
The night I got home I went from "NOT HUNGRY!!!" to eating an entire plate of roast chicken and chips :-o
...boy did that go down well!
15th December 2004, 12:20 AM
The first day I could eat after my surgery I ate a whole slice of pizza, but after that my appetite died down and I ate mostly sweet things. :-D
15th December 2004, 01:54 AM
I didn't eat much after my surgery ... lots of water, jello, crackers....
15th December 2004, 09:20 AM
Abbi, I don't think anyone's answered your question, about what's a NG tube and what's a G tube. If I didn't volunteer with CP kids (lots of them have them) I wouldn't have a clue either. And sorry for my laymans explanations which might be a bit blundery
A NG tube is a Nasal Gastric tube. It's a thin tube (think about the size of oxygen tubes that go up you're nose) that goes up your nose and down your throat into your stomach. When it is used for feeding (has other uses too, such as removing stuff from your stomach after surgery) Your food is made into liquid form and is fed into the tube. Its usually "poured" into a delivery port (a bigish container) and has a tap kind of thing on the bottom of it to make the "flow" faster or slower.
I don't actually know what the G in "G tube" (I think its gastric) is, but I know what its is. It is where your food is made into liquid form again and the tube goes straight into your stomach region. You don't have the tube hanging out of you 24/7, instead their is a little "plug" (only way I can describe it) which is inserted by the doctor by a small insision into your stomach. And it has a little top on it which is opened and closed before/ after food, and the tube is attached to it. The rest of it (how the food is delievered is basically the same as a NG tube.
I hope my explanations have helped, either they will or they will have made you more thoroughly confused and none the wiser. :-)
15th December 2004, 10:44 AM
Thanks Rowena, good explanation.
You still have a G tube don't you Kayla?
15th December 2004, 02:57 PM
Yeah I still have the G tube although I dont make all my foods into liquids I have formula for it and I eat as much as I can regulary
16th December 2004, 12:28 AM
Liquid was the only way I could think to describe it at the time :-), thinking back now I could have described it better, but hindsight is always a good thing lol. I've seen the consistency of the "food" (some people I've seen food, some formula from everything from liquid consistency to quite thickish) at lots of different strengths
17th December 2004, 11:08 PM
Oooh yeah, I have heard of them now! we learn a lot of this stuff in human biology class!
i just learnt today what C L and T stands for when people say I have L7 fused and stuff!!!
C = cervical
L = Lumbar
T = Thoracic
YAY GO ME!!! lol
18th December 2004, 10:22 AM
C = cervical
L = Lumbar
T = Thoracic
We had this conversation a while ago Abbi, someone posted a useful picture of the spine, and it pointed out C, T and L and allt he numbers of the vertebrae (sp) but I cant seem to find the picture, and I cant remember who posted it.
So really this post was totally useless!
18th December 2004, 11:20 AM
I think it was Jonny. But if you google on 'spinal map' you'll get the same thing
18th December 2004, 05:49 PM
Spine picture here. Hover over the spine. (http://www.neure.com/Index.cfm?file=SpinalCordMap.cfm)
Thanx BlueIce, its not the same one but its just as good!
18th December 2004, 11:46 PM
Kayla---- are you making yourself throw up or does it just happen. Throwing up is not natural and if you are sticking your finger down your throat that is a HUGE RED FLAG. But if it is occuring naturally you also should get that checked out. I have been close to an eating disorder and struggle with my eating patterns daily... email me k!?
Good Luck Hun!
19th December 2004, 02:06 AM
Carly I am not making myself physically but my mom thinks its this mind over matter and I didnt believe her that just thinking it could make yourself throw up so I asked my bio teacher if smeone could make themselves throw up just by thinking it and he said yes so now I have no idea what is happening
19th December 2004, 06:16 AM
Do you get anxious when you eat or have a full stomach?
19th December 2004, 07:18 AM
Kayla, Hey, even the fossil gets accused of being anorexic. I have skinny arms and legs and I don't eat a lot. I think my scrunched up body just doesn't have the room to bolt down masses of food that other people can eat. I would rather do anything rather than throw up. Anyways people just think I don't eat enough and get all frought about it. It pisses me off to put it mildly. I know they mean well it's just so hard to watch other people eat as much as they do and then fuss at me. It isn't fun but I know they are showing concern and I try to understand that. People that love us just worry about us. Try not to dwell on it and you'll be fine. SSO hugs from the fossil.
19th December 2004, 08:45 PM
you've been on a g tube for quite a while and even the best of us feel sick when we've eaten something which gives us indigestion.Your stomach is bound to be more sensitive to solid foods than the average.
Try not to worry so much.Just relax and enjoy yourself over Christmas and eat what you enjoy and never EVER feel guilty over food.How are you doing now?if you're continuing to thrive and gain weight don't worry.It's ok to expect some minor setbacks every now and then, but just keep reminding yourself and your mother just how well you're doing overall.
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