View Full Version : To Look or not to look.

Amazed Jean
16th September 2004, 06:24 AM
I have amassed years of my x-rays and medical records. Someone passed a law so we have access. I want all the information I can get to take to a new Ortho Doctor. If I actually look at them in depth I know I'm going to be mad, sad, sick, angry, appalled and probably amazed. ( Had to slip in a pun.) Right now I can pretend to not know some stuff and not understand some more. I'm leaning towards looking and taking pictures so I can put them up on this site. However, I don't feel particually brave about it. Maybe I should wait to really dig into this stuff once I am away from my Mom and daughter; when I'm alone in a hotel room with my husband and then he can glue me back together if I fall apart. (I'll take the glue and lots of it.) I can always just sneak a look or two. Do I sound like a real chicken or what?

16th September 2004, 06:51 AM
Amazed, you don't sound like a chicken... you sound like an adult with severe scoliosis who is rightfully afraid to learn how severe it is. My advice to you is that you go ahead and look. You're going to see them in the doctor's office, and if you haven't prepared yourself before then, that would be an awkward time to break down. But you've got a good idea waiting until you're away with just your husband. You may be quite shocked by what you see, and it's nice to be able to react without an audience.

16th September 2004, 11:08 AM
I know where you're coming from, Amazed. I feel a bit the same about my spine xrays and also my respiratory function tests. But the way I look at it is I know best how I feel and the x-rays/results just put a number on the actual situation. At least by knowing them, I can take some part in making decisions on my treatment.
Good luck.

16th September 2004, 11:56 AM
I'd take a look too. It will be shocking, but it's better to be prepared for it than to see them at the doctors office for the first time. Do it whenever you feel ready and have someone to support you, if that is what you want. You'll probably feel better at the appointment if you've seen them before.

16th September 2004, 12:10 PM
I agree with the others.Only when you can fully understand your medical history can you come to terms with it and move on.It will be very emotional and you'll discover some things which you may find unsettling but the knowledge that you're not alone will pull you through.We've been through it and come out the other side more mature and wiser and feeling much more positive about ourselves.If you want to put them in our gallery we'd be delighted,We'll set up a gallery for you.When you submit the photos just submit them in the "amazed" category.If you feel that you don't wish to put your x rays in the public domain, that's fine too.No pressure!
Remember we're here to help you through your rough patches.

16th September 2004, 02:32 PM
I would look at them...... you need to be aware of whats happening and should take every chance you can get to make yourself more aware. GOOD LUCK!

16th September 2004, 03:49 PM
I would look at them also. I think it would be worse not looking! If you don't want to be alone, I'm sure you have family members or friends that would comfort you/cheer you up/or something. Good luck!! :squeeze:

17th September 2004, 12:22 AM
Yep, I would have a look, too. I might take it slowly if I felt pretty certain it was going to cause me to become emotional- kinda try to maintain some objectivity I guess. But, I would still have to get myself prepared for when I was going to see a doctor. You've got glue here too! Take care and good luck. :hug:

17th September 2004, 06:32 AM
I remember when we got copies of my x-rays I was younger then but i pulled them all out and looked

18th September 2004, 12:56 AM
I know I would know what's going on into my body.

Amazed Jean
18th September 2004, 08:30 PM
Thanks everyone. I decided to look at the x-rays this weekend so maybe i can get them up on the internet soon. They are all jumbled up now and I need to sort and mark them and photograph them. I have many but not all from when I was 13 or 14 until now. I'm not going to look at the written medical records until I'm in a hotel room with my husband...I hate to cry in front of my family. I am also typing a scoliosis/medical journal and I plan on working on it so I can post it here someday.

18th September 2004, 09:42 PM
That's great that you decided to see them.

19th September 2004, 12:07 AM
I look forward to reading your journal and seeing your xrays, amazed. Good luck this weekend. Be strong... just remember that no matter what you learn, you survived it all and now you have a wonderful family with a grandchild on the way.

19th September 2004, 03:16 PM
Aww I didn't know that you are going to be granparent soon, that's great news Jean :jump:

Amazed Jean
19th September 2004, 07:24 PM
Yep, I'll be a grandma soon. Our only child is expecting a boy on December 2nd. We are thrilled!