Kaja
1st September 2004, 02:55 PM
Wow. It's my one year anniversary today, since my surgery, and I can't believe it. There are so many thoughts in my head right now, and I have no idea how to write them down. Most of them are good though!
It felt really weird, walking around the house today, changing the calenders from August to September. Ack. The memories. Exactly one year ago, I was in the ICU, and thrilled that I wasnt paralyzed :D Lol. I remember everything like it was yesterday. I'm afraid though, that in time I'll forget details. Ah, were all of you like this after a year? Like me?
I might have another op though, and that depresses me. I'll write more about why, before my appointment, which is September 24th. The thought of having to go through everything again, is horrible! I dont want to, but then I do. I'm torn. :cry:
But anyways. ONE YEAR, DAMMIT! It's so unreal. This year has sure gone fast! And it's been extremely different. Surgery changed my life, both mentally and physically. Everything I've done the past year, has been different. I've had to think about my back all the time, about moving and lifting and everything. Ah. And the first months at school! I was so scared about being hit or something. And the winter! I was terrified when walking on the ice. Ah. And it was the first one, since I was 2, that I didn't ski! Weird!
Tonight, I'm going to celebrate. My parents will buy me something, and my best friend Ingrid will come over. She's the one friend of mine, that truly understands all of this. She knows lots about Scoliosis, and is really excited about today :D It's nice.
What annoys me though, and what's sad about all this, is that people now think I'm all done with this 'back-thing'. "Oh, so you're normal now?".. Grr. I will always be crooked, and I will most likely have some kind of pain or discomfort all my life. I will always have restrictions. God, I sound pessimistic, but there are some good things too! I have the coolest scar, and I'm not like everyone else. It's kind of cool being 'special'. Very few 14 year olds have been through this, and I have experienced things they never will, or can imagine. Yes, Scoliosis can be fun! :joke: And of course, I have you guys. I can't imagine not 'meeting' all of you, you are the best :kiss:
This post is getting long. Well. I'll close up :D I'M ONE YEAR POST OP!! And painfree!! Almost anyways. I feel great, and it's amazing. Spinal surgery isn't a walk in the park ;-) (lol, I like that phrase)
:party:
It felt really weird, walking around the house today, changing the calenders from August to September. Ack. The memories. Exactly one year ago, I was in the ICU, and thrilled that I wasnt paralyzed :D Lol. I remember everything like it was yesterday. I'm afraid though, that in time I'll forget details. Ah, were all of you like this after a year? Like me?
I might have another op though, and that depresses me. I'll write more about why, before my appointment, which is September 24th. The thought of having to go through everything again, is horrible! I dont want to, but then I do. I'm torn. :cry:
But anyways. ONE YEAR, DAMMIT! It's so unreal. This year has sure gone fast! And it's been extremely different. Surgery changed my life, both mentally and physically. Everything I've done the past year, has been different. I've had to think about my back all the time, about moving and lifting and everything. Ah. And the first months at school! I was so scared about being hit or something. And the winter! I was terrified when walking on the ice. Ah. And it was the first one, since I was 2, that I didn't ski! Weird!
Tonight, I'm going to celebrate. My parents will buy me something, and my best friend Ingrid will come over. She's the one friend of mine, that truly understands all of this. She knows lots about Scoliosis, and is really excited about today :D It's nice.
What annoys me though, and what's sad about all this, is that people now think I'm all done with this 'back-thing'. "Oh, so you're normal now?".. Grr. I will always be crooked, and I will most likely have some kind of pain or discomfort all my life. I will always have restrictions. God, I sound pessimistic, but there are some good things too! I have the coolest scar, and I'm not like everyone else. It's kind of cool being 'special'. Very few 14 year olds have been through this, and I have experienced things they never will, or can imagine. Yes, Scoliosis can be fun! :joke: And of course, I have you guys. I can't imagine not 'meeting' all of you, you are the best :kiss:
This post is getting long. Well. I'll close up :D I'M ONE YEAR POST OP!! And painfree!! Almost anyways. I feel great, and it's amazing. Spinal surgery isn't a walk in the park ;-) (lol, I like that phrase)
:party: