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sticktrix
7th March 2006, 06:08 AM
A big hello to everyone!

These days I was in a bit of a reflective mood. I just got a refusal to work in a company because of my spine not being straight. It was deemed by the guy who interviewed me as aesthetically unpleasant. As this company involved loadsa contact with people I can kinda understand that even the eye wants his share, I guess the dude thought something along the lines of: "What will my customers think of this?" but I think it is really cruel. :(
I am not blaming people for this, but I certainly blame society for becoming so stringent in terms of looks and appearance, rather than capability. Why is society so shallow?

This was a major blow for me, having kyphosis has made my life hell in more than one way. I cannot even bear to remember the amount of bullying and pisstaking I had to endure since childhood because of a malformation. It got so unbearable that I had contemplated suicide in my teens, just to make the pisstaking stop once and for all.

I moved to a different country, and the same story all over again. It makes me sad that the people look to me as some sort of freak show to rely upon in case of boredom. It's not like I don't have a sense of humour; I have allowed my closest friends to take the mick off my hump and actually awarded a few the price for the best joke of the day, because it was funny. Their case is different though, as I know that they're trustable people who helped me when I needed it.

What makes me tick is everyone else, aquaintances and strangers like...

When I was in another job, a fellow collegue made my life hell by entertaining my other work mates for three consecutive years, always trying to find more colourful means of taking the piss out me and my "beautiful curves". I was so out of it that when I couldn't take it anymore, I jumped out my chair and headbutted him almost to unconsciousness, and finally the abuse stopped, because now the guy was afraid of me and a possible reaction.

I felt horrified by my same actions, as I totally detest violence, yet unfortunately this was the only way to stop him. I had to cry myself to sleep that day.

Other people I thought were friends were making me the butt of their jokes on their IRC channel unbeknownst to me, until another friend discovered it and gave me nice detailed printouts, which got me back to the reality that I'll never be seen as normal by the so called "normal" people. Sometimes the truth really hurts...


Sorry for the long rant, I had to vent out a bit... My question is the following:

Has anyone of you dealt with cruel and insensitive people like I had to do for most of my life? And if yes...HOW?

You guys are probably the only few people who understand me, therefore feel free to post your opinions and experiences, as I really value them as helpful!!!


Take good care of yourselves!

MARCO :rox:

Amazed Jean
7th March 2006, 06:46 AM
Sorry about the boorish man not hiring you. I am pretty sure that they can't do that legally in the United States. I can see the lawsuit now. It would be ugly and I'm afraid you would be further angered, pissed off and hurt and who wants to work for that kind of jerk?
Let's see I'm rapidly approaching 55 years old - I am still amazed that people will stare and gawk and talk behind their hands. Some people will make jokes. I am NOT amused ! The hurt never goes away. It still hurts like hell so far I've not gone up and bitten anyone's knee caps but I've thought about it ALOT. I also have stayed home on occaision jut to avoid the stares etc. I seldom leave the house with out Allen or Jae. My daughter and husband both have also been hurt by things people will say about me. The only thing I can really do and I'm pretty sure I have is to teach my daughter to be a nicer person and to be more tolerant of everyone else. If all else fails Make Margaritas!! We love you here on SSO.

zerodegrees
7th March 2006, 12:51 PM
Hi Marco,

I'm totally outraged on your behalf mate at the way you've been treated by this guy. I wish there was something we could do.

I've been there & suffered the same way you have with regards to being the butt of people jokes. Years ago when I worked for another company I was ridiculed because of the way my back looked which was just horrendous as it was at a time when I believed that nothing could be done for me. This gave me a complex about my kyphosis which has stuck with me.

Fortunately as I got older (now 36), I have a partner & friends like you who love me for who I am & see the person, not the deformity. This helped me to like myself & the way I looked, curves & all! Before my surgery when insensitve people made a comment I just tried to laugh it off but believe me it was still like a "spear throught the heart". Its hard but remember you're better than they are.

I promise you everyone in sso understands what ur going thru & thats why we all look after each other.

Good luck mate & remember we're all here for you.

cheers

john

ps I don't condone violence but I wish I'd seen you headbutting that guy!

mark
7th March 2006, 09:33 PM
Hi Marco the guy got what he deserved you should have given him kick in the balls as he went down. Sometimes these bullies need a dose of there own medicine to enlighten them in art of civilised conversation. They are big and cocky when they are with there mates picking on some one unfortunate not to confirm with there ideas of normal but they soon shut up when they get a taste of there own medicine. I have like you and john and jean suffered from years of staring name calling and down right bullying and we should'nt have to take it at our ages we should be able to get on normally with our lives free from anyones prejudices. I started giving it back recently as i have a couple of work colleagues and one so called friend recently bumped there gums in the middle of the office for all to hear so i just told em to F***K OFF and you find they don't like getting it back. The bloke got what he deserved theres no place in the modern workplace for bullying of any sorts.

Thaleias spirit
7th March 2006, 09:50 PM
Marco,

Think of it this way, if that company is that shallow..
it would have been hell to work there so you're better off without them.

Unfortuneatley society is that way and it won't change anytime soon.
There are good people out there though, believe me, I work with some terriic people and I know how lucky I am.

I can't say I've gotten use to people staring at me or assuming because of all the issues that maybe I have mental problems too. It can be hard, extremely hard and even hearrtbreaking when you can't do anything about it.


But .. we are here and we understand how it feels ...

:squeeze:

chele

sticktrix
8th March 2006, 03:30 AM
Sometimes I find this whole kyphosis thing to be unbearable... I really would like to get on with my life. I try not to hold grudges and forgive... but I see my patience sinking lower day by day. Even though, as I said, I hate violence, sometimes I really wish to be able to beat people up to the extent of crippling them, so that they would get a taste of their own medicine. However, although I am capable of doing so, it's not the right solution... even though it is very tempting.

I know I certainly don't deserve all of this. I've always tried to do the right thing, and I've never looked down on handicapped or deformed people, because I've experienced only too well the stigmata of being seen as the handicapped one myself; yet I have to endure daily the derision and piss taking and I can't frankly take it anymore. I think the only things that have kept me alive and well are my drums and music. Those were the only two things that have always brought me joy and confort, and people tried to spoil even those.

I live in a small country. The level of competition is utterly mad, and everyone is always trying to outdo you in whichever thing you do. It goes without saying that I obviously have the reputation of a totally crap drummer and that my inability is because my back holds me back ( no pun intended).
I'd also like to point out that some of my detractors have never heard me play... but gossip is gossip.
...and to top it all off, no person is actually man enough to tell me that I am crap (even though I can honestly say I am not bad at all)... they all smile and say hello and kiss your ass, and then as soon as you turn your back you're screwed and your ears start whistling.

This is just another little example of my everyday's battles... Did anyone here experience a similar thing even in this case?

shortgirl
8th March 2006, 04:21 PM
That excuse for hiring you HAS to be illegal!?? If it isn't then I think you should take it up with your local government and MAKE IT ONE!! If something like that happened in the US you could sue that company for all it's worth. Descrimination based on appearance should NEVER be an excuse not to hire you. I am sure many a job here I have not got becuase of my back but they surely did not tell me that! It's really horrible that they should even send you a letter/excuse like that in reply to an interview.

I take situations like this though and let them make me stronger and try to realize that its humbling situations like this that make us greater people. I look totally different than anyone else and if someone made a comment to me like that at work I would probably be in shock and would cry myself to sleep too. But the minute I tell my family or friends about it they would make me realize that is not the way I deserve to be treated and I should NOT take it from anyone.

I wish I could come give you a big hug and make it all better. (which is a compliment because I rarely hug anyone..hehe) I seriously feel your pain right now though... I really do. I wish I could go kick that guy in the balls for you.

Well enough rambling.. I have to head off to work. But I really hope you feel better. Grr...stupid people ANGER ME!!

Phil
8th March 2006, 05:04 PM
They are bully's, and bully's only understand one language.

mark
8th March 2006, 06:39 PM
I'm sorry your feeling so down Marco, which country do you come from and where do you live now ? I'm glad you have something like drumming in your life that helps you take yourself away. I hope lie starts getting better soon

Vicki
9th March 2006, 02:12 AM
Chele the only mental problem you have is a shopping problem to rival mine ;)

I've had the odd evil comment in the past, and it used to really upset me, far more than it still occasionally does now. I realised for the most part, the people who are ignorant enough to say something hurtful are, well, morons. I tend to take comfort in the fact that I'm far more intelligent than they'll ever be.

A chav once yelled "the bells, the bells!" as I passed him. I almost stopped to ask him whether this meant he'd actually read a book, or if he thought he was quoting a Disney film.

sticktrix
9th March 2006, 04:56 AM
I swear Vic, I would have grabbed myself a nice set of bells...but to shove them up his a**!
I really admire though the way you've dealt with it...it was bright and intelligent, certainly something the chav was probably not even able to understand, since he's probably busy pimping his ride and wearing 3 ton goldchains rather than read a book or seeing Walt Disney films!!!

Thanks also for the support Mark. I come from Italy but I've moved to Malta (small dot in the mediterranean) almost 11 years ago.
You see... It's not like I am down or anything, far from it, I've got a few good things going... university is doing well ( I'm still dreaming of pursuing my PH.d in Oxford...that would be so cool... and to spread the Italian language as much as I can to fellow uni students), I've had a great family, always supportive of me and a bunch of great friends who are always there for me. The sad thing is that sometimes I get overwhelmed by the amount of crap I have to withstand just because of a stupid malformation for which I don't have any fault. Even though it hasn't really hampered my health, it definitely did to my self esteem. You know how the story goes...you see a lovely girl...and you get along greatly with her...then the bomb arrives: "You know sweety? You should really do something for your posture...it's terribly bad!"
You're left with a sour taste in your mouth...you'd like to scream to her: "Yes...congratulations for the being the 1 millionth person who noticed it...you've just won a soft toy in the shape of a turd!"
Thankfully, I've had girls who were a bit brighter than that and were capable of seeing behind my Quasimodo impersonation, but in the back of your mind you're always thinking: "will she ever mention it or comment about it?"
I'd also like to point out that I'm not depressed at all... I'm probably one of the most hyper people you guys will get to know...and always up for any mischief for a good laugh; I am a rather good cook always looking forward to prepare huge meals for my mates, I study, work, and Dj in a nightclub too.
You are probably asking...so what is the problem?
The answer to that is that unfortunately even though I am very sociable, I still feel like a misfit... I haven't had a day in which I was able to blend myself to a crowd and feel normal for just one day, and sometimes this whole thing saddens me. I've hardened up and learnt not let it lead my life, and many times I do well too, but I'd like to feel like a totally normal person for just ONE day. I was considering correcting my kyphosis exactly for that reason.
I'd like to have children one day, but sometimes I wish not just because I'd find it really cruel and unfair for them to endure what I've been through myself... If for example I am flirting with a sweet girl or something alike, I double check her posture, so that maybe it worse comes to worse, my son could have a chance of having a straight back! I guess I must be totally nuts! :) Oh well...that's life!!!

zerodegrees
9th March 2006, 09:22 AM
Marco,

They way you have described they way you feel is exactly the same as most of us have either gone through or are going through! You are entirley normal & not a misfit - remember that always!

If you look in the galleries you will see photos of lots of us complete with our "wonky backs". Some will be worse than yours and some will be better. Have a look at my kyphosis in my gallery! Its very impressive!

There is nothing wrong with having your kyphosis corrected surgically though it is a huge step. I found out about 4 years ago that it was possible to fix mine and I've only just done it. I felt ashamed that one of the reasons I wanted mine fixed was for "cosmetic" reasons,pain was a large factor too. I felt ashamed of this because I go through life seeing people for the who they are & not their bodyshape so it felt wrong wanting to change my own bodyshape when the people I love didn't really "see" my kyphosis.

When I finally had chosen my surgeon he said my reasons were the right reasons for surgery which made me feel much better, plus the support from my partner, friends & the fantastic people here on sso.

Having a condition like kyphosis is a journey, take your time & see where it takes you & remember we're all here to support you.

cheers

john

ps seeing your not too far away we will expect to see you at the next sso bash whenever that will be!

mark
9th March 2006, 09:54 AM
Wow Marco

How small is this world

My brother worked as the head chef in a restaurant on Malta for a few years back in the early 90s

I'm seeing him this weekend so i will out which one it was you may well know it. As you say Malta's only small place.

Phil
9th March 2006, 03:22 PM
Marco, hard as it may sound accepting yourself is someway to others excepting you. I understand your self confidence is probably low, however by looking forward and positive will improve your inside which is what really counts. Kyphosis is a story, I very recently had surgery. It's just another chapter.

sins
9th March 2006, 05:43 PM
Have you discussed the idea of surgery Marco?
So far I have two kids with straight backs and they haven't had any grief from other kids about me.oddly enough it's another girl who gets hassle cos her mom is fat.Strange how the world works!
You have excellent english and I hope you pursue your dreams of study abroad.
One positive thing you will learn from this board is that even though we have curved spines, there's a very high standard of education among us and it may surprise you to learn that we're all just normal people, going about our very normal lives.
You can and you will cope.
Sins

Little Ali
9th March 2006, 09:25 PM
I've encountered people like that. People do stare alot. Kids are just being inquisitive so I don't mind that, but sometimes it can get to you. Just try and remember that it's their ignorance that makes them behave like that and it's not worth paying any attention to.

Keep smiling :bounce:

sally333
11th March 2006, 07:14 PM
Originally posted by sticktrix@Mar 7 2006, 05:08 AM
A big hello to everyone!

These days I was in a bit of a reflective mood. I just got a refusal to work in a company because of my spine not being straight. It was deemed by the guy who interviewed me as aesthetically unpleasant. As this company involved loadsa contact with people I can kinda understand that even the eye wants his share, I guess the dude thought something along the lines of: "What will my customers think of this?" but I think it is really cruel. :(
I am not blaming people for this, but I certainly blame society for becoming so stringent in terms of looks and appearance, rather than capability. Why is society so shallow?

This was a major blow for me, having kyphosis has made my life hell in more than one way. I cannot even bear to remember the amount of bullying and pisstaking I had to endure since childhood because of a malformation. It got so unbearable that I had contemplated suicide in my teens, just to make the pisstaking stop once and for all.

I moved to a different country, and the same story all over again. It makes me sad that the people look to me as some sort of freak show to rely upon in case of boredom. It's not like I don't have a sense of humour; I have allowed my closest friends to take the mick off my hump and actually awarded a few the price for the best joke of the day, because it was funny. Their case is different though, as I know that they're trustable people who helped me when I needed it.

What makes me tick is everyone else, aquaintances and strangers like...

When I was in another job, a fellow collegue made my life hell by entertaining my other work mates for three consecutive years, always trying to find more colourful means of taking the piss out me and my "beautiful curves". I was so out of it that when I couldn't take it anymore, I jumped out my chair and headbutted him almost to unconsciousness, and finally the abuse stopped, because now the guy was afraid of me and a possible reaction.

I felt horrified by my same actions, as I totally detest violence, yet unfortunately this was the only way to stop him. I had to cry myself to sleep that day.

Other people I thought were friends were making me the butt of their jokes on their IRC channel unbeknownst to me, until another friend discovered it and gave me nice detailed printouts, which got me back to the reality that I'll never be seen as normal by the so called "normal" people. Sometimes the truth really hurts...


Sorry for the long rant, I had to vent out a bit... My question is the following:

Has anyone of you dealt with cruel and insensitive people like I had to do for most of my life? And if yes...HOW?

You guys are probably the only few people who understand me, therefore feel free to post your opinions and experiences, as I really value them as helpful!!!


Take good care of yourselves!

MARCO :rox:
Hi-
I was just thinking. Did you actually get a refusal to get hired because of your spine not being straight on paper? If you did and this was the sole reason for the company not to hire you and you did not tell them things like you would not be able to do the job because your spine was not straight then you have it in writting and this could become a law suit. Did you tell them about your back or did they just look at you and tell you well you that your appearance was not suitable for the job?
If they actully did do as you say you could seriously take them to court and I am sure that you would come out ahead.
I to have kyphosis and 110 degree at that. I recently had surgery and it is now at 53 degrees. I waited untill I could hardly walk before I went to the doctor for this. I never even new exactly what was wrong with my back. I should not have been in such a denial and I could have taken care of it before it got so bad.
My whole life as your was the taunting and picking on and name calling also so I do understand. The worst one was being called the hunch back of notor dame!
Well good luck and go after them people if you actually have it in wrighting.

Amazed Jean
12th March 2006, 04:22 AM
Marco, I assure you I've been there and still get to that same point of utter frustration with my spine and how it looks, feels, hurts, acts, etc. It sucks. I am still checking on my daughter's spine and she's 28. My 15 month old grandson's is fine and I got to see ultrasounds of granddaughter to be's spine and it looks fine. I'm obsessive about it. I am way past fixable because of my lung function so I do what I can and try not to focus on what I can't do. My brain works a little twisted but it would be the same if my spine were straight. If I could change it I would. I often have to think that some people are just stupid and don't belong in MY world anyway - so I leave them out. I still get my feelings hurt and I don't have the solution but as I want you to know that we are here for you.

Thaleias spirit
12th March 2006, 12:22 PM
Marco,

It's strange how society works really. Sometimes it's the people who you think will be much more open minded on issues that have the real problems. Growing up I never realised it. Sure there were some kids on our housing estate that made smart comments, more about the fact that I didn't look like an adult though. It was only maybe the past 10years I started to see that *some* people had ideas about who I was and what I was actually capable of, without knowing anything about me. At first I didn't listen, but I'm human. It slowly started sinking in and I actually started believing them.

At my worst, I was believed I was absoluetly nothing, didn't deserve anything, was ugly, deformed, and a waste of space. and I started cutting myself off from people. It didn't matter that my real friends didn't think it, those destructive thoughts were lodged deep inside me. and eating me alive.

The only way to try turn the whole thing around was removing people from my life who I felt didn't help my negativity issues. Sounds very cold maybe but I did what I had to do to protect me. I surrounded myself with people who don't see the issues, just me. My work colleagues have often said that they forget that I may need to go a bit slower on things, and that's a nice feeling that they don't see the scoliosis etc.

People say you have to accept yourself first.
That isn't easy but you can get there. It just takes some time.

The best thing about this site for me, is that when I'm here I'm *normal,
and the rest of the world isn't. Maybe that sounds immature, but it helps me relax and feel it doesn't matter one single bit how twisted and messed up I feel, the people here know all too well what I mean without ever having to explain myself. I fit in .. no stares, no whispers, just acceptance.

This is our utopia, our safe place from the rest of the world. Where all that matters is that you are yourself, regardless of whether you are happy, sad, angry, scared.

chele

sticktrix
12th March 2006, 03:36 PM
Yes chele, this is the reason why I joined this forum. Acceptance.
I don't mean acceptance in the sense of someone pitying me, rather, a group of people who on an emotional and issue level have the means (through experience or expertise) to properly understand what I am trying to convey. And it feels great, because I have a connection with people, even though it has started because of our malformation. It is very conforting and encouraging to hear the opinion of someone who has been there and dealt with it. It also gives you new means to face the enemy (acquaintances, strangers and the lot) and to draw on your latent courage buried under the tons of low self esteem. I can only, therefore, see it as a very positive thing!
Hopefully, with time, I'll be able to walk with my head up and proudly say: "Yes...this is me!"

Thaleias spirit
12th March 2006, 03:53 PM
I understand what you mean about acceptance. Its a case where people don't have to say anything but you know they understand exactly what could be going through your mind.

There are days when I seriously would give everything if I could turn back the clock and do something to stop the scoliosis from getting this bad. But, like everything there is a price I would have to pay, and not being soppy abou it, but chances are I would not have the friends I made here or in real life. In a way it changed my outlook on everything and made me more accepting of people.

It takes time to get to the point where you can say, without fear, "this is me .. ". but someday you will feel a peace about it all and it's a nice feeling. My doubts aren't totally gone, they are still lurking but I've finally started to feel that I may just have enough strength to overcome them enough to start living my life again.

Maybe I sound very philosophical, I don't mean to. I am my own worst enemy and I need to deal with my demons before I can challenge every one else on it all ..

but either way, we all have been there at some point, and we can totally understand the frustrations you are going through.


Just curious, how did you feel after you wrote the initial post?
any sense of relief?

sticktrix
12th March 2006, 08:16 PM
In a way, I guess the answer would be a yes. I was also hoping to receive an answer even though at that point in time everyone was a stranger. I guess I'm still a bit far away from the head up "this is me!" state of mind, but it's fair to say that I still hope to be able to reach it someday. It's an ongoing battle that i vowed to win sooner or later.

Marco

Thaleias spirit
12th March 2006, 08:57 PM
Originally posted by sticktrix@Mar 9 2006, 04:56 AM
I'm probably one of the most hyper people you guys will get to know...and always up for any mischief for a good laugh; I am a rather good cook always looking forward to prepare huge meals for my mates, I study, work, and Dj in a nightclub too.
Hmm reading that you could get on very well with Mark here.
He loves winding us all up and He loves his food ..

hmm, music wise though well we won't say anything about that.
We just agree to disagree with his taste, don't we Mark? :P :glee:


Marco, I think you'll fit in here no problem.

Vicki
13th March 2006, 12:23 AM
Agreed, Marco you sound cool, and I'm a bloody marvellous cook myself!

Most people here would probably disagree with my taste in music too, but sometimes I surprise people. I don't think I'm quite at the hed up "this is me" stage either, but compared to how I was just a year ago, I'm miles ahead.

I think we're all fabulous here :D

sticktrix
13th March 2006, 12:54 AM
Oh...I've had disagreements with million people because of the music I listen to! I've been a metalhead since I was a nipper. When I was in primary school, the kids in my class were watching cartoons, whilst I was listening to Metallica with my dad!!!
I remember oh so well that when I was 7 yrs old, my uncle asked me if I had any wish for xmas. I was like: "Yeah...Either I want Appetite for destruction of Guns n' Roses...or Europe's the final countdown!" hehehe!

Vicki
13th March 2006, 01:06 AM
I knew I liked you! Titch, 2c and I are going to the Download Festival this year, it's about half an hour away from my house, and Metallica, Tool and G'n'R (well, Axl and friends, heh) are headlining! It's going to be rather amazing! I was annoyed that I missed Opeth last year (though I've seen them before so it wasn't too much of a loss) so I had to get tickets this year!

I can however, go from listening to My Dying Bride to Faithless in seconds, I have rather varied taste!

mark
13th March 2006, 02:13 AM
Me too Vicki, i can go from Van Morrison through to AC/DC via Neil Young going past Miles Davies, taking in the Supremes and a lot of Motown and Northern Soul, then back to Jonny Cash, Gram Parsons and that whole country rock vibe, missing out pop and rap, pop and rap are the only two genres i can't get my head round, however having said that i do have a couple of Ice T and Ice Cube and a De La Soul CD lurkingin my record collection (i'm sure we all have some dodgy records lurking we don't like to admit we have).

The one that got away from me though was the gatefold sleeved i want to ride your bicycle 12" the one they banned with the all the nude cyclists on. I had a copy i hated queen so i gave it away not realising it was worth something.

Bah never mind i hated ueen at the time and still do so its no loss (well financially it maybe)

sticktrix
13th March 2006, 10:31 AM
Jeez Vic! I adore Opeth with a passion!
Matter of fact observation: These days my drum practicing revolves around learning how to play "The Grand Conjuration" from the "Ghost Reveries" cd in its entirety! It's also great to see that people in this forum like heavy music! HURRAY!
As far as music tastes go, I'd say that mine are rather varied too!

Some of my favourite artists according to (admittedly) music style:

JAZZ : Miles Davis, Chick Corea, Weather Report, The Yellowjackets, Niacin, John Scofield Group, The Dave Weckl Band

ELECTRONIC: Aphex Twin, Square Pusher, Venetian Snares, NIN, Chemical Brothers, Faithless

ROCK: Guns n' Roses, Europe, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam

POP: Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Lostprophets

METAL: Pantera, Megadeth, Sepultura, Lamb of God, System of a Down, Mastodon, Korn, Mudvayne, Fear Factory

SUPER TECHNICAL DEATH/METAL: Meshuggah, Cynic, Textures, Opeth, Mnemic, Death, The Dillinger Escape Plan

GOTH: Type O Negative, Lacuna Coil, My Dying Bride, Paradise Lost, Anathema, Katatonia

DEATH METAL: Morbid Angel, Atheist, Carcass, Sadist, Gojira

NU METAL: Sevendust, Spineshank (you gotta love their name, in our case :P ), Kill II This

ITALIAN: Marco Masini, Jovanotti, Elio e le Storie Tese, Linea77

PROGRESSIVE: Dream Theater, Dreamscape, Pain Of Salvation, Porcupine Tree

I am omitting loads I believe (I have 900 Originals in my collection). Those are basically the first ones that came to mind, and there is so many more artists I virtually adore. There are so many! Actually, Please guys...Don't even get me started on music! I could start discussing it til I die in front of the computer for over-exhaustion!!!

I basically give a chance to any artist, as long as their music comes straight from the heart and is virtually 100% honest.

Therefore I shall just mention also a few groups/singers I can't virtually take because they lack to me the reasons above mentioned: Britney, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake etc.etc.

Also, bands I tried listening to but I get really bored of or just find plain annoying: Radiohead and Coldplay (Too whiny, sounds like these guys are on a suicide trip to me), Pink Floyd (too pretentiously long), The Beatles, and anything U2 have released after Achtung Baby!, and especially these days, all those bands who have a "The" behind their name, such as: The kaiser Chiefs (cool name though), The Vines, The killers, The White Stripes, The Strokes...
I probably ended winding someone one up with my choices (Hey Mark... we could be the winding terror twins!!! hehehe!)...just as chele said above!

Marco!!!

Phil
13th March 2006, 11:54 AM
Very good jazz choices there! I'm currently listening to Tenascious D, so funny and great!

mark
13th March 2006, 12:06 PM
Originally posted by Thaleias spirit+Mar 12 2006, 07:57 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Thaleias spirit @ Mar 12 2006, 07:57 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-sticktrix@Mar 9 2006, 04:56 AM
I&#39;m probably one of the most hyper people you guys will get to know...and always up for any mischief for a good laugh; I am a rather good cook always looking forward to prepare huge meals for my mates, I study, work, and Dj in a nightclub too.
Hmm reading that you could get on very well with Mark here.
He loves winding us all up and He loves his food ..

hmm, music wise though well we won&#39;t say anything about that.
We just agree to disagree with his taste, don&#39;t we Mark? :P :glee:


Marco, I think you&#39;ll fit in here no problem. [/b][/quote]
Michele is fighting her love Van the man. She&#39;s Irish, its in the job description to love him :hammer: . Its ok Michele you can come out of the closet you know he :rox: stop the fighting

Marco

We should swap receipe ideas (all the best cooks are men :ph34r: ). Maybe we should start an SSO culinery club

mark
13th March 2006, 12:22 PM
My only dabblings with goth were in the mid to late 80s early 90s

When i went to see All About Eve (i was in love Julliane Regan)

I then went to see The Mission and Sisters of Mercy

And in the early 90s i think i seen the Fields of Naphthalin (spelt wrong) and a load of other goth bands i can&#39;t remember the names of at a festival in Leeds in the early 90s but i don&#39;t really remember as that time was a little hazy

And i have seen Killing Joke too

sticktrix
13th March 2006, 12:26 PM
Oh&#33; Definitely&#33; I have quite a bunch of recipes actually&#33;

mark
13th March 2006, 04:28 PM
We are definately going be the terror twins. We could be the THompson Twins with curves

:shock: :shock:

Thaleias spirit
13th March 2006, 08:33 PM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 13 2006, 12:06 PM
Michele is fighting her love Van the man. She&#39;s Irish, its in the job description to love him :hammer: . Its ok Michele you can come out of the closet you know he :rox: stop the fighting

:roll: shakes head in disbelief .. here we go again ..

Ookay, once and for all I&#39;ll set the record straight.

Yes I&#39;m Irish .. and a redhead.
No I don&#39;t like Van Morrison (with the exception of Moondance).
and no its not in the job description to love him.
I only like U2&#39;s earlier stuff.


Marco, whatever he says about me, pay no attention.
He rambles a lot cos he doesn&#39;t take his medication poor thing :P

mark
13th March 2006, 11:12 PM
Partial acceptance is one step on the road to recovery, moondance is a fine album Michele :bounce: . Van is like the lord once you accept him into your life its like someone switched on a big bright light :angel: 8) :angel:

sticktrix
14th March 2006, 12:36 AM
I am positive that acceptance is definitely the way to recovery, at least when it comes to self esteem, Mark&#33;
What concerns me a bit more than that is all the mental scars left in me by the people around me. They&#39;re not easy to forget and virtually hurt more than the malformation itself. I have been made aware of my kyphosis since I was barely 10, wheter as a criticism or literal piss taking.

Michele, Irish people are cool and good fun to be with&#33; Smile and be proud of your beautiful country&#33; (... I&#39;ll also forgive you if you listen to Van Morrison :P ) Plus, in my opinion redheads are really hot women&#33; Must be cause I&#39;m partially a redhead myself&#33;&#33;&#33; :P

mark
14th March 2006, 10:06 AM
Originally posted by sticktrix@Mar 13 2006, 11:36 PM
I am positive that acceptance is definitely the way to recovery, at least when it comes to self esteem, Mark&#33;
What concerns me a bit more than that is all the mental scars left in me by the people around me. They&#39;re not easy to forget and virtually hurt more than the malformation itself. I have been made aware of my kyphosis since I was barely 10, wheter as a criticism or literal piss taking.


I know exactly what you mean, i walked around for years with my head down wincing whenever i caught someone out of the corner of my eye starring at my back.

I can&#39;t say i walk tall now but with the help of these lot i am a lot more comfortable with how i look and feel about myself. However self loathing is a difficult thing to over come and i do struggle from time to time.

I would say it was probably around the same time either 9 or 10 i started to notice people looking at me differently and shortly after when i went to middle school the name calling began and when i hit high school it was virtually non stop.

Take care mate

Mark

Thaleias spirit
14th March 2006, 06:48 PM
Originally posted by sticktrix@Mar 14 2006, 12:36 AM
(... I&#39;ll also forgive you if you listen to Van Morrison :P )


woo Hoo &#33;&#33;&#33; Finally someone who agrees with me on Van Morrison &#33;&#33;&#33;
There is hope for this world after all &#33;&#33;

and Mark .. I only like the song Moondance, not the entire album&#33;&#33;&#33;
Give me a break, please&#33;&#33; :nutter:


Marco, we can adopt you as Irish if you want?
You being a redhead too and all that&#33;&#33;

sticktrix
14th March 2006, 07:09 PM
Thanks very much &#39;chele&#33;&#33;&#33; I&#39;ll consider it if I come to Ireland. But it would be a bit hard on me. I am very proud of my italian heritage, and I guess I would find it difficult to shed it off&#33;&#33;&#33; But hey, why not, "SSO adopted Irish/ Terrot Twin with curves" It really doesn&#39;t sound that bad at all&#33; :)

mark
20th March 2006, 12:02 PM
You want to watch the Irish Marco, especially red headed females it can be a volatile mixture

:P :glee: :P

I think mark should start heading of to the blue room at a great rate of knots :spin:

Thaleias spirit
20th March 2006, 08:54 PM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 20 2006, 12:02 PM
You want to watch the Irish Marco, especially red headed females it can be a volatile mixture

:P :glee: :P

I think mark should start heading of to the blue room at a great rate of knots :spin:
:P OI &#33;&#33;&#33; Behave yourself ...
Us Irish are very nice and quiet, especially red-haired ones&#33; :angel:
Don&#39;t know where you got the idea they can be volatile
Beginning to think you&#39;ve gone crazy :nutter:


Plus .. if I&#39;ve told you once I&#39;ve told you a thousand times...
Hiding in the Blue Room won&#39;t protect you.
I&#39;m not scared of that place one bit
even if it does smell

sticktrix
23rd March 2006, 12:08 PM
hehehe&#33; What a strong fighting spirit we have here&#33; :)

shortgirl
25th March 2006, 07:57 PM
Visiting this site and seeing all of your strong characters/attitudes just reinforces my ability to see the positive side to all these things I&#39;ve been dealth with. Thanks you guys for giving me new found strength, I truly should visit this site more often&#33;

And I still think you should sue the company for discriminating against you. :-P

mark
25th March 2006, 10:20 PM
I&#39;m glad that you can find comfort from the support that this site offers and i am really pleased to be able to read your posts again i was wondering where you had gone to.

Take care and i hope things are going well for you

mark

Thaleias spirit
25th March 2006, 10:38 PM
Originally posted by sticktrix@Mar 23 2006, 12:08 PM
hehehe&#33; What a strong fighting spirit we have here&#33; :)
yeah, you develop a thick skin when you hang around here as much as I do ..
(I have no life really ... :woe: )

plus you end up being brazen, sarcastic, noisy, loud, boisterous, clever, witty, etc etc etc .. or then again maybe that just comes with being Irish?

hmm, I just don&#39;t really know anymore ...

:spin:

mark
25th March 2006, 10:49 PM
Originally posted by Thaleias spirit+Mar 25 2006, 09:38 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Thaleias spirit @ Mar 25 2006, 09:38 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-sticktrix@Mar 23 2006, 12:08 PM
hehehe&#33; What a strong fighting spirit we have here&#33; :)
yeah, you develop a thick skin when you hang around here as much as I do ..
(I have no life really ... :woe: )

plus you end up being brazen, sarcastic, noisy, loud, boisterous, clever, witty, etc etc etc .. or then again maybe that just comes with being Irish?

hmm, I just don&#39;t really know anymore ...

:spin: [/b][/quote]
Your right on all levels michele you certainly need a thick skin to come and post here on a regular basis, bullet proof sometimes :-o

Although i think being Irish maybe helps as you have a wonderful outlook on life the English amongst us could only dream of :-D

Thaleias spirit
25th March 2006, 11:03 PM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 25 2006, 10:49 PM
Although i think being Irish maybe helps as you have a wonderful outlook on life the English amongst us could only dream of :-D
Hmmm ... :roll:

I should take that as a compliment but ..

I should have also added suspicious, paranoid to the original list...

what are you up to Mark?
what have you done / not done that I don&#39;t know yet?

yes you are definitely up to something ..

:help:

mark
25th March 2006, 11:21 PM
me, MOI up to something, how could you presume such a thing

Thaleias spirit
25th March 2006, 11:50 PM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 25 2006, 11:21 PM
me, MOI up to something, how could you presume such a thing
um .. knowing what I do know about you by now .. ?????????

Very Very easily I&#39;m afraid .. :glee: :rofl: :hammer:

mark
26th March 2006, 12:05 AM
:-o i&#39;m such an open book :-o and theres me thinking i was an International man of mystery

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 12:11 AM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 26 2006, 12:05 AM
:-o i&#39;m such an open book :-o and theres me thinking i was an international man of mystery
open book ? yes ..
international man? maybe ..

of mystery???? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

mark
26th March 2006, 12:14 AM
i&#39;m so transparent :shock: i&#39;d better not audtion for the next Bond movie then :cry:

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 12:18 AM
umm .. is this when I&#39;m supposed to say that I&#39;m sorry ? :P

see as the title suggests, dealing with people ..
such a mind boggling task sometimes...
never know what to do or say or not say

:nutter:

sticktrix
26th March 2006, 12:49 PM
It&#39;s always entertaining to see &#39;chele and Mark arguing on a post or on Msn&#33; :rox:

I think the next topic should be: dealing with Michele and Mark dealing with each other on posts&#33; :D

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 12:53 PM
for your information ...

We don&#39;t argue ..
We just agree to disagree :hammer:

that&#39;s all ...


It&#39;s practice yo keep us on our toes and know how to deal with others too.
But hey maybe thats just my excuse ..

and anyways, I can&#39;t seem to wind anybody else up as easy .. :glee:

mark
26th March 2006, 08:31 PM
Micheles like the little sister i never had

and i&#39;m not easy to wind up

You are :-D

Little Ali
26th March 2006, 09:08 PM
Oh yes you are&#33;&#33;&#33; :bounce:

And I&#39;d just like to second what Shortgirl said. You guys are fab&#33; :hug: :jump: :squeeze:

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 09:42 PM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 26 2006, 07:31 PM
Micheles like the little sister i never had

and i&#39;m not easy to wind up

You are :-D
Oi . .Less of the Little ... Thank You Very Much &#33;&#33;&#33; :soapbox:

and Ali agrees with me, you so are sooooo easy to wind up

so there :P

mark
26th March 2006, 09:58 PM
i meant younger

:oops:


I always win


well almost...



:P :P

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by mark@Mar 26 2006, 08:58 PM
i meant younger

:oops:


I always win


well almost...



:P :P
not while I&#39;m alive and kicking you won&#39;t .. :P

I also have the advantage of being younger than you.
and the smarts that come with being female ..

mark
26th March 2006, 10:11 PM
Originally posted by Thaleias spirit@Mar 26 2006, 08:03 PM

I also have the advantage of being younger than you.

Only just :hammer:

Theirs advantages in being oldish

I&#39;m wiser

More mature

Less easy to wind up

Wiser in the ways of the world

Better music collection

Better cook

Do i need to go on

:angel: :glee: :angel:

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 10:19 PM
Originally posted by mark+Mar 26 2006, 09:11 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (mark &#064; Mar 26 2006, 09:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Thaleias spirit@Mar 26 2006, 08:03 PM

I also have the advantage of being younger than you.

Only just :hammer:

Theirs advantages in being oldish

I&#39;m wiser

More mature

Less easy to wind up

Wiser in the ways of the world

Better music collection

Better cook

Do i need to go on

:angel: :glee: :angel: [/b][/quote]
wiser? Really???????????????? :P

More mature? you don&#39;t do what you should do ... :soapbox:

Less easy to wind up.. maybe ..

Wiser in the ways of the world? how????

Better music collection? you like van the man - how can that be better?????

Better cook - we haven&#39;t tasted your food so that&#39;s open to debate.


Was that te best you could come up with????
Really dear, you&#39;re losing your grip on reality methinks.

mark
26th March 2006, 10:30 PM
Well if you&#39;d tried half the recepies i made up for you of the top of my head you would know how much of a genius iam in the kitchen.

remember what i told about them packets :vomit:

The 60s & 70s were the finest decades for music thats non negotiable

Maybe i some times don&#39;t do what i should but i get suitabily abmonished for it and being MALE i learn from my mistakes

HOPE THEM PACKETS ARE OUT OF YOUR CUPBOARDS

Thaleias spirit
26th March 2006, 10:37 PM
um, half those recipes you gave me, you were drunk at the time and one of them you&#39;ve told me you never ate it yourself .. and you want me to try it????? I&#39;m not that crazy.... :nutter:

presses are empty of food .. and packets ...

and you never learn from your mistakes cos if you did we wouldnt have the same discussion over and over again would we? :P


and on that note .. I am - for the sanity of all the others here - finishing these ramblings by admitting defeat on the whole topic.

you win ..

game over. :mope:

mark
26th March 2006, 10:43 PM
I was just thinking that maybe i should split this topic as i kind of took it way of centre but i could&#39;nt think of a suitable title.

I call it an honourable draw

:niceone:

MOB
26th March 2006, 10:44 PM
:cry: Aww no. I was enjoying that game Chele can you please play some more.

sticktrix
28th March 2006, 06:59 PM
This is hilarious&#33; hahahaha&#33;
Only one prob Mark...I just don&#39;t menage to completely agree on the musical side of the things.... you might be right about the 70&#39;s being the best decade for music....but the 60&#39;s weren&#39;t really that great...
Plus, so many great songs came out in the 80&#39;s and 90&#39;s&#33; I think it&#39;s only fair to acknowledge even those, dude&#33;&#33;&#33;

Thaleias spirit
28th March 2006, 07:56 PM
Originally posted by sticktrix@Mar 28 2006, 05:59 PM
you might be right about the 70&#39;s being the best decade for music.... but the 60&#39;s weren&#39;t really that great...

Plus, so many great songs came out in the 80&#39;s and 90&#39;s&#33; I think it&#39;s only fair to acknowledge even those, dude&#33;&#33;&#33;
ha ha ha .. :hammer:
someone else who disagrees with you about *some* of your music taste


and Mark, you&#39;re getting soft in your old age..

calling it an honorable draw???? :nutter:
since when did you back down even a little bit ? :P

mark
28th March 2006, 08:02 PM
In my old age :woe:

mark
2nd April 2006, 08:16 PM
Originally posted by Thaleias spirit@Mar 28 2006, 05:56 PM
and Mark, you&#39;re getting soft in your old age..

calling it an honorable draw???? :nutter:
since when did you back down even a little bit ? :P
And since i know its best not to mess with the Irish, especially red headed females :P they know best and are nearly always right :hammer:

Amazed Jean
3rd April 2006, 03:30 AM
Hey, Let&#39;s watch the old age cracks&#33; Us fossils have important historical value 0r was it hysterical value?

mark
9th April 2006, 08:31 PM
With you Jean its most definately Hysterical value :-D your the only one from the jurassic era that can make me laugh anyway&#39;s :hammer:

Amazed Jean
10th April 2006, 05:56 PM
Thanks Mark. I needed to know someone friendly was in the world today. I often laugh because I feel like crying. Lately I feel like crying a lot so I need to get silly every once in awhile.

mark
10th April 2006, 08:46 PM
Ahh Jean i&#39;m sorry things are a little upside down at the minute whenever i feel a little low and i want to cry i put a little Northern Soul tune on the record player, its called Do I Love You by Frank Wilson. Try it if you can get a hold of it (get one of the kids to download it of the internet) i gurantee you&#39;ll be up dancing by the end of the the first verse. Just ask Chele.


Take care Jean, i hate to see my friends upset.

mark

PS i DO recommend Frank Wilson he&#39;s fantastic

Thaleias spirit
10th April 2006, 09:09 PM
Originally posted by mark@Apr 10 2006, 07:46 PM
Try it if you can get a hold of it (get one of the kids to download it of the internet) i gurantee you&#39;ll be up dancing by the end of the the first verse. Just ask Chele.



Um .. I have to agree with him for once ..
it&#39;s such a real cheerful uplifting song.

(for those of you going who? what? etc etc ..
since Mark didn&#39;t say .. the song was used on one of the earlier kfc ads.


Jean all I can say/do from here is .. :squeeze: ...

mark
11th April 2006, 01:23 AM
Originally posted by Thaleias spirit@Apr 10 2006, 07:09 PM

Um .. I have to agree with him for once ..

Thanks Chele

Its a fantastic tune

mark

sticktrix
23rd April 2006, 04:20 PM
never heard it. But it&#39;s never too late to do so now. :)